actually, this is exactly how i feel right now.

again, or, quite possibly, still.

i wrote that poem while sitting on an exercise bike, watching a made for television movie, in houston, texas.

anyway, ...

i am dealing with a lot of things right now.

i feel guilty that i am not going to amy, yale's sister's, wedding, in houston next week. i think it is next week.

i intended to go, but time snuck up on me.

i also can't really afford it.

two nights ago, i stayed up all night talking to two new friends on the icb. one of them, i noticed, seems to have a lot in common with me. (only the good things about me, not the bad, fortunately for him.) that was cool, and made me think about things like i used to, even though i have been desperately sleep deprived for quite a while.

in my effort to put more details of my life on this page, like people have been requesting, i will admit that last night i met him out, along with a couple other santra cruz friends of his. that was cool.

it is so invigorating to hang out with people who have vision. and who see the true value of purple.

gads i am tired.

my parents are in town. i think they still think i am "addicted to drugs." what a farce. but they are still curious about seeing my apartment and about seeing cyborganic.

so, i guess i am excited about that.

tuesday i spent about eight hours doing really tedious unpleasant administrative stuff. that was not fun, although i did get a lot done.

monday i prepared for and led a meeting that i thought went well, and that certain other people thought was not "efficient" enough.

i am truly trying my hardest. sometimes things take longer than originally planned.