And I grew sad.
I can't believe it. It is Rosh Hashana already, and where am I. What the
fuck have I done.
As I have mentioned before, I am not a religious person, and I do not
believe in organized religion, but I grew up in a very Jewish home, and I
view many of the Jewish traditions -- especially the seasonal-based holidays
-- useful.
I always hated going to synogogue on the High Holidays (Rosh Hashana and Yom
Kippur, in the fall), and I never agreed with fasting on the latter of the
two holidays, but I still find the symbolism of a new year starting in fall
to be logical.
The Jewish year starts in fall, I am told, because it is in winter when
things rejuvenate (like sleeping), in spring they are born, in summer they
flourish, and in fall they die. The daily cycle follows a similar scheme.
In the fall, people are told to reflect upon their last year, think about
what they did wrong, make apologies when due, and try to plan a more warm,
kind, productive year ahead. While the year technically begins on Rosh
Hashana, and the Torah is started over on Simchat Torah, the first task of
the year comes with Yom Kipur -- apoligizing to all you have hurt, and
forgiving those who have hurt you.
By every definition of the term, I have a lot of apologizing to do.
I also long for, perhaps selfishly and idealistically, similar behavior from
others.
A lot of people have hurt me immensely over the last year, and undoubtedly
very few will attempt to make amends, but I will almost surely forgive them.
I only hope that I can apologize to myself, and be able to forgive me.
And move on.
today
tomorrow
yesterday
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Copyright 1996 Rebecca Eisenberg mars@bossanova.com. All rights
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