What a great time of year.

Beltane.
The festival of witches, where the power of sexuality is celebrated. "Mother Nature is regenerating her children, and everything is horny." Customarily, everyone was supposed to get laid at the celebration on top of the mountain. After all, it is the "festival of new growth."

Artemis, the May goddess, is a total lesbo, and hangs out with Callisto, her best girl. And April belongs to Aphrodite, sexual goddess and death goddess both at once.

May Day is both a feminist and anti-feminist holiday. The conventional ritual is to take a roll of ribbons (representing the vulva) and wrap them around the maypole (representing the phallus). The pole sits still and the ribbons do all the work.

It is also a holiday celebrating the workers: look at those workers go, wrapping those ribbons around that pole!

I didn't get to celebrate the holidays the way that I wanted to -- and I even had a fun thing to go to. Instead, I have been one of those ribbon-workers, dancing around and around in circles as I wrap that goddamn ribbon around the big huge pole.